Fool Face

I am thinking funny cartoons and jokes, optical illusions, scary stuff and inspirational sayings that I can receive and then forward them to my friends……..

I’ve spent a lot more time zoning out on my couch to the spoof films Epic Movie, Date Movie, Meet the Spartans, and Disaster Movie than I would care to admit. they do tend to feature an awful lot of jokes — even if said gags are of a decidedly uneven quality — and at least one of those movies always seems to be, well, on. And, hey, they’re better than the Twilight films, right? (Note: the opinion of this writer does not necessarily reflect that of Entertainment Weekly as a whole, but can be further investigated in his Eclipse: a Hater’s Guide post.)

Ooh, I feel a nice segue coming on!

That’s right, the guys behind those movies — writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer — have turned their attention towards Bella, Edward, and Jacob for the pair’s latest spoof-o-rama, Vampires Suck, which, judging by the new trailer, also takes aim at Jersey Shore and Lady Gaga.

You can see the clip after the break. take a look and tell us what you think!

I am going to make my father a card for christmas. He is a longtime SMU fan and I would like to print something funny about how SMU finally made it to a bowl. Anyone have any links to funny cartoons or jokes I could use? Thanks.

Do you think the majority of time people say things in a joking manner they are really meant to be serious? Just maybe that person doesn’t want to make a blatant statement so they address it in the form of a playful conversation/joke to make it more lighthearted. Example: a woman tells her male coworker… your new haircut looks really awful, but says oh just kidding. I personally think people are serious when they make “playful” comments or jokes directly to another person… what about you?!

I am entering a competition where I must deliver jokes that I make up from other people’s ideas. Can anyone think of any good ideas for a stand-up routine?

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A few of the obligatory April Fools’ Day pranks tech firms will roll out today will be funny. some will be believable. To confirm the jokes, and help you avoid endless “Did you see this” emails, we’re rounding them up here.

In the Google-verse

Google goes bananas on April 1. every big department, and some small, gets their shot at adding a “new service” or “killer feature” to their products. If you see something announced on a Google blog today, unless you’re in a time machine and it’s about Gmail in 2004, chances are, it’s not true. here are the notable Google pranks:

• Google Voice Standard Mode
  It’s funny because when I call my friends’ non-Google-Voice numbers, I really do get prompts for “numeric pages”—which just texts that person the number I just called from.
• Google Translate for Animals
  Funny joke, sure—but Google actually released an Android app in the Market that pretends to listen and provide English translations. It’s probably right that my Rubenesque cat is asking, “Please, sir, may I have some more?”
• Watch YouTube videos in “TEXTp”
  
  Certain videos on YouTube have a “TEXTp” option on the resolution picker, which converts the video to ASCII-type text display. as Gizmodo pointed out, the apex of this prank is watching the “Trololo” video in text.
• “A different kind of company name”
  Google announces their corporate name change to “Topeka,” a play on the most notable publicity stunt to draw Google’s attention for its gigabit internet trials. Topeka Docs? Topeka Wave? Topeka Translate, actually, sounds like the most fun.
• Google Wave Wave Notifications

  As in, Dr. Wave will actually stop and wave at you in the real world when you’ve got a wave. Not bad.

• Upload and store anything in the cloud with Google Docs
  So, like, if you lose your keys, they could be in Google Docs, somehow. Ha.
• Google Annotations Gallery
  Rachel writes in with this Google Code tool, the GAG, that lets developers write more descriptive Java code comments—like, say, @LOL and @Facepalm
• Google Maps: 3D Goggles View
  
  Open a location in Street View, and click the little Street View Dude icon wearing 3D glasses. Anyone who’s got 3D glasses handy can tell us how this actually looks. Update: Commenters note that it actually kind of works! AgentSmithAndWeston says, “Nothing James Cameron-esque, but it’s a bit better depth of field and perspective wise.” [Hitched Hiker]
• Today’s vowel outage
  Reader Mike sends us this screencap of what he saw at Gmail’s login page (which I didn’t see). [Official Gmail Blog]

Everywhere else

Just because every other company doesn’t give their employees one day a week to pursue their pranks and pet projects doesn’t mean they can’t also get pseudo-serious on April 1.

• guest@xkcd
  
  XKCD wins the April 1 war, or at least ties for second (see directly below), by giving his already geek-tastic comic site a Unix-like interface for the day. Go ahead — type “ls” to list files, and type other commands (like “man next”) for loads of little goofs. Update: Want to see the full list of responses? zTnL points us to the full JavaScript file, in which you can hunt down all the little one-liners and marvel at the code.
• Reddit
  At least as of this morning, everybody is an Admin at the community posting/voting site. No, seriously—everybody is an admin.
• Hulu Confidential
  Alec Baldwin narrates an internal training video, describing Hulu’s not-so-secret plan to mush our brains and use them for alien fuel.
• Starbucks Listens to Customer Request for more Sizes
  The Plenta offers 128 ounces, the Micra 2 ounces, and Starbucks suggests using the Plenta bucket as a planter when you’re done.
• Dharma Initiative Alarm Clock

  
  Why couldn’t this have been real? this and other pseudo-products abound at the web store today. [ThinkGeek]

• Apple Tablet Teardown
  Note that they’re tearing down an “Apple tablet,” not an iPad, in particular. You’ll get it when you scroll down a bit. [iFixit]
• Introducing The Do-It-Yourself CrunchPad Kit
  Because of the way the CrunchPad turned out, it’s a good thing to laugh about. [TechCrunch]
• Slashdot Discussions Now Include Roulette Video Chat
  What would actually happen if Slashdot commenters had to keep a video stream open while they typed out comments? You won’t find out here, but SlashRoulette is pretty clever.
• Introducing Aviary’s Bird Store!
  An attempt to explain how, exactly, a now entirely free web-based graphics editor can make a profit. [Aviary Blog]
• Join the Opera Space Browser testing program!
  Subtle means of taking part in the day, while still pushing the browser.

More noble attempts to round up the April Fools’ shenanigans can be found at Search Engine Land and, in particular, TechCrunch’s 2010 list, which they plan to update throughout the day. It’s quite a scroll already.We are, most certainly, looking to hear about the pranks you almost thought were real today, or just the worthy jokes you’ve seen around the tech and corporate world today. tell us about them in the comments, and we’ll add them to this post.

Send an email to Kevin Purdy, the author of this post, at kevin@lifehacker.com.

You just can’t say “Air Force” and “Navy” either just because they are the biggest joke of the armed forces. I mean if your in the Air Force or Navy, your pretty much worthless. I’ll give credit to the older vets and salute you, but the new people “serving” are worthless. if your a man, join a real service like the Army or Marines. It’s war, time to fight, not time to hide. Now lets hear your jokes making fun of Air Force and Navy!

just looking for a little pick-me-up. stories, videos, jokes, whatever. thanks!

you know just some naughty little jokes that she will find funny

So i have this friend whos dating her neighbor so they live right next to eachother. They’re like 14 and i wanna crack some jokes about them and i need some help. got any ideas??