Hey, rish here again. I was just wondering if you guys new any funny quotes or any quote. like ones people have never heard of. Im focusing on funny quotes, so if u have any plz post!
Thanks!
Funny & silly quotes –
“My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.” – Mae West
“The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time” – Friedrich Nietzsche
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” – Oscar Wilde
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. he said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn't met me yet.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“The Jersey mentality is: I work, I drink, I stay up all night, I try to meet a girl, it's a waste of time.” – Gerard Way
“Oh, you hate your job? why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.” – Oscar Wilde
“I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited.” – Oscar Wilde
“One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.” – Oscar Wilde
“I have nothing to declare except my genius.” – Oscar Wilde
Besides, you'll get thousands of funny quotes here –
http://www.quotesdaddy.com/find/tag/funn…
Here are the sources –
Quotesdaddy.com/quote/59255/ashleigh-b…
I don't know what quotes people know, but I'll list a few of my favorites.
"some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs." —Anonymous
"I can resist everything except temptation." — Oscar Wilde
"Sarcasm is the last resort of the imaginatively bankrupt." — from the Mortal Instruments book series by Cassandra Clare ("City of Bones")
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." — W.C. Fields
"I find television very educating. every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." — Groucho Marx
"Life is pain… anyone who says differently is selling something." — "The Princess Bride" (1987 film) (I believe the quote or a variation of it is also in the book off of which the movie is based.)
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it." — Anonymous
I'm too lazy to remember any more. I like the Slinkie one though… cheers!
"every day above ground is a good day." Florence Klein, Gene Simmons Mother
have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. Elayne Boosler
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. mark Twain
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen
When you’re looking for something, vision is important. Amanda, America’s Next top Model Contestant
I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man. Mayor Marion Barry
I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements in the Future. Dan Quayle
The future will be better tomorrow. Dan Quayle
We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward. Dan Quayle
What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. how true that is. Dan Quayle
It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do, and THEN do your best. W. Edwards Deming
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours. Yogi Berra
The other teams could make trouble for us if they win. Yogi Berra
If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed, and it will monitor their heart through the night, and the next morning, if they wake up dead, there’ll be a record. mark Fowler
Work eight hours and sleep eight hours and make sure they are not the same eight hours. T. Boone Pickens
If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again. Terry Venables
Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver. Carol Malia
I feel my best when I’m happy. Winona Ryder
The internet is a great way to get on the net. Bob Dole
"I sometimes go to my own little world, but that's okay, they know me there." Joel Hodgson
How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand. Emo Philips
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. George Bernard Shaw
If you want loyalty – get a dog. If you want loyalty and attention – get a smart dog.” Grant Fairley
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.- Robert Bloch
"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars." J.P. Getty.
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. Steve Wozniak
I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. J. D. Salinger
If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?Tom Snyder
We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: how much clean air do we need?Lee Iacocca
more here:
http://www.dumb-quotes.com/quotes/uncate…
If Barbie's so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?
If winning isn't everything, why do we keep score?- Vince Lombardi
No matter how cynical you become, you can never keep up.
Don't tell me the sky's the limit, when there's footprints on the moon.
god created man. then he created woman……….then he took a rest and thought about what he had done!
